love trumps hate

[I wrote this a week ago and have been contemplating whether to post it or not….]

It’s been a tough couple of days.  Aside from having sick kids & struggling with pesky ear infections myself, I feel like I’ve been in a thick cloudy-haze.  I don’t typically like to talk politics, but the results from this past Tuesday’s election hit me hard.  To say I’m scared & nervous, might be the understatement of the year.

I want to preface this with the fact that I know people that sided with each of our candidates & I’m totally fine with that.  Of course we don’t all have the same beliefs, but what I do struggle with is the fact that I have to wonder if some people voted for Trump, our now President-Elect, simply based off of hate.  It’s a disturbing thought.  And, for the 1st time in my 30 some years on Earth I’ve felt ashamed & embarrassed to be an American.

My heart literally aches.  It’s been hard to focus, sleep & imagine what this world has in store for the next 4+ years.  I’ve broken into tears more than I care to admit since the election. 

My children aren’t old enough to understand what’s been happening, other than they know that Mom & Dad ‘voted’ and got ‘cool stickers’.  But, had my kids been a few years older, I wondered how I would explain to them that there are people out there that: hate women & do not treat them as equals, don’t like people based off of the color of their skin,  discriminate against others simply because 2 women or 2 men love each other or because they don’t have the same religious beliefs?  It’s a tough world out there, obviously, but we need unity.  My fear is that Trump will not bring us closer together, but tear us apart.  Those that fall into those minority categories will take 2 steps backwards in the fight for equality.

It’s not okay.

I know that so many people don’t actually think that racism, sexism, homophobism (is that a word) actually exist.  It angers me so much when I hear someone say “I don’t think there is much racism out there anymore”.  But, I’ll be the first to say, it’s everywhere.  Growing up as an Asian woman, I’ve seen it my whole life.  The dirty looks, the hurtful comments, the inappropriate gestures…it’s very real.  And very hurtful.  I went through a very dark time in my life where I really struggled with who I was.  I literally hated who I was.  I hated that everywhere I went, I was a minority.  I hated feeling different.  I took anxiety medicine for a good part of my life growing up just to deal with these struggles.  But, as I grew up and my peers grew up, it seemed that things got better for me…we came together & set our differences aside.  I learned to weed out the bad people & hold the good ones closer.  It’s a struggle that was real & tough for me and I fear one that I will once again face.

I worry about my kids constantly.  I know at some point in their life, people will be mean to them because they don’t “look totally American”.  What will I say to them?  Will they hate me?  Will they blame me?  I want the hate to stop.  I want them to be treated as equals, because THEY ARE.  They are no less because of the color of their skin or their dark colored eyed or their dark black hair.  And even though the hate will not change overnight, what I wish is that everyone, Clinton supporters AND Trump supporters can remember that we are all human.  We are all EQUAL.  And we all want to be treated with respect.  The only way our country will survive is if we come together, start respecting each other and stop with all the hateful words.

I could literally write 10 pages about this & my deep down thoughts, but I won’t…today.  Instead I will leave you with this sweet picture of MY people…the ones that are always there for me through thick & thin.  The people that remind me how great life is and that WE WILL SURVIVE.

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